Earlier this week, I received an email from a former student who has lost his purpose within all the struggles of 21st-century stress and anxiety. This dear person feels lost and directionless. He’s so tired of being overwhelmed, anxious, and worried. Yes, I’ve been there. I spent many years comparing myself to “successful” friends and colleagues (who all seem to have things “figured out”). I yearned to be effective, make a big impact AND be seen and appreciated. I’d meditate, walk, think, vent, meditate some more, ruminate, and stress out and cry tons of tears of frustration. Then it slowly dawned on me, I can’t force or push my evolution and growth. I can’t “uncover” it. I can’t “find” it. I can only stick with it and trust that “it’s” unfolding, one moment at a time.
Here’s what I mean:
1. Think about something that stresses you out.
Maybe it’s slow traffic. Maybe rushing around in the morning really freaks you out. Maybe not being understood bothers you. Maybe “boring dinner parties” irritate you. We’re all bothered by something. What stresses you? What wakes you up at 3am? What breaks your heart? What makes you want to scream with frustration?
2. Ask yourself, “What simple action could I take that might lessen or even ‘solve’ this issue?”
Maybe you can give yourself an extra 10 minutes in the morning. Maybe you can write a blog post that shares your heart and soul. Maybe you can let yourself experience a moment of sadness – simply feeling your body (without censorship or label). Maybe let yourself peacefully pause for a minute at odd times throughout the day (set a timer to remind yourself). Think about what bothers you. Explore a new habit. Practice it. And then…
3. Promise yourself that you’ll practice this new habit, daily.
Practicing a new habit will slowly begin to grow you in a new direction. Slowly and surely that new habit will be your new reality. That’s it. Notice what stresses you out. Come up with a new habit to practice. Work on it consistently in small ways. And before you know it the new habit will overshadow the old irritating, difficult one. Choose just one habit to focus on consistently. Growing a new habit can be that simple. Slowly, bit by bit.
Special thanks to some very smart teachers, friends and clients for showing me what it means to grow new habits and choose new directions.
With Gratitude
– Melissa
info@melissamatsonmoves.com